Monday, 21 September 2015

This Little Piggy

There is something typically Cameron about this story.

If it had been Putin, you just know it would have been a wild boar, still alive and angry, in a remote forest.

If it had been Clinton, you just know it would have involved a young impressionable pig, a cigar and cheesy seduction techniques; moreover, whatever went down it would not have been sex.

If it had been Blair, Campbell would have spun it so that we were in no doubt it was not merely what the pig wanted but what the world needed. Blair would have made a statement to parliament denying that the security services had 'sexed-up' the pig. Later reports that the pig had been rendered by the same services were denied, but there was circumstantial evidence in the form of soft leather "T.B." monikered wallets being given to other world leaders as gifts.

Nick Clegg would have done it having previously travelled up and down the country pledging not to do it. He'd have then posted a YouTube video in which he apologised, with a satisfied look on his face, and while wiping his lips with his handkerchief.

Corbyn would have asked the pig what it wanted and left things there, having apologised for having had to ask such a crude question. The media report this as evidence for Corbyn being part of an ISIS sleeper cell in Westminster, exposed by his obvious repulsion for pork products.


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